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Purpose + Leadership

Morning Walks & Citrus Groves

Can’t believe it’s already December.

2019 is around the corner 😲

  Oranges growing in citrus groves near our neighborhood

Oranges growing in citrus groves near our neighborhood

After growing up in Canada, where we would wake up to negative temperatures and 3 feet of snow, I still enjoy these mild winter mornings. Today it’s 65F with blue skies. It’s still surreal to see oranges growing in citrus groves in the winter months. I have to pinch myself knowing how cold it is in other parts of the country. Very grateful. 

We have a Mediterranean climate here characterized by mild winters with a short rainy season and hot dry summers. We get little rainfall and most days are sunny. As you can see in the image below, there are only a few regions in the world with similar climates (South Africa, Gold Coast Australia, Central Chile, and the Mediterranean region of Europe). 

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 Morning walks

Morning walks

Getting support from family is not easy?

A few years ago, I made the decision to pack my bags and move to Texas for a consulting opportunity. This was after months and months of deliberation. I decided to sell everything in my house in LA and make the move. The experience from this opportunity was going to set me up for the future.

Here I was moving furniture, packing my car, and listing stuff on craigslist. It happened quickly.

I will keep this family member un-named for obvious reasons.

So this family member stopped by on our last day in LA. After I told them the reason for leaving it became obvious they already knew. They ended up shouting at me for about 30-60 mins straight.

I didn’t get a chance to speak. I’ve always been strong in my own skin and can see things from an objective point of view quite easily but I did feel disrespected and confused. What was said was intended to hurt me. This person made me feel that the community would judge me differently if I decide to move. Interestingly, this person left their family overseas at one time to immigrate to America for opportunity.

I wasn’t sure what this ‘family betrayal’ meant at that time because it was centered around what others would feel and think about me.

By the end of their rant they chose to ‘cut ties’ with me because they said I was a ‘bad influence on their family and their kids’. A few days after this incident they were gossiping negative things about me to the community, which affected my parents, because they felt it was hurting their “reputation”. This person was a machine, just going on and on.

Reminds me of a story Hasan Manaj shared in his Netflix Special Homecoming King. His family was against marrying outside his religion and nationality. They came to this conclusion based on what people would think about them in their community.

I was hurt to see my parents hurt. You would think that this family member would keep an already stressful time for me private and help me during this time of transition. Maybe I was only seeing it from my perspective and not there’s. It was a learning experience.

I just didn’t understand the benefit of broadcasting “gossip” of how bad of a person I was for taking a role in Texas for my career and moving away from my parents. I wasn’t living with them for at least 4 years, we were on our own. My parents were going to miss their granddaughter/my daughter, so I understood that point of view. But all the drama created a cloud of negativity that my mother and father had to deal with.

I’ve later come to the conclusion that this person is like everyone else. We are, as a people, going through a lot. Most people feel trapped in a ‘service to self interests’ attitude. Not always thinking about what they say and how it psychologically affects others. Most people are caught up in circumstances around people, money, and past negative experiences that shaped their behavior and habits. I’ve dealt with it myself, so I can relate with them. I understand.

Sometimes you end up with a family member who, if you just met them, you would not go to dinner with them. Just by their negative vibe.

After this debacle, my mother still kept communication with this person. She always had  compassion towards them no matter all the negative things said to her about her kids. She would always see the best in others, and give them the benefit of the doubt in every situation. 

Surprisingly, my mother would not say negative things about this person to me either. She spoke about this person objectively without taking my side after this negative experience. She took in information from both sides.

I carry this as a lesson with me to this day, that you never know what people are going through. They will have bad days, so never take anything personal, and hold your tongue. If I get emotional and end up “speaking my mind”, I may say things I regret. So I just nod, smile, and be on my way. It keeps my mind at peace and mindful of how I invest my energy.

The ‘blood connection’ creates a bond we call family. An unconditional love that our ethnic communities still hold close to their heart. Even in the US and Canada. But a toxic relationship is a toxic relationship and it needs to be dealt with by keeping a distance and forgiving others. Life is too short to hold that energy. As all energy has mass, and carrying it with you only hurts you in the long run.

Looking back, I’m grateful for sticking to my intuition and trusting myself. At the time, I had a young daughter and moving was one of the most difficult life decisions I had at that time.

It was a decision after months of going back and forth.

At the time, Texas had more opportunities with small companies doing big construction and apartment projects. Whereas, California was run by large corporations and most of the small companies were run by private families with old money. Texas had the new money in real estate. I made the move for the experience and not the pay (however it would later pay off). The period of time I spent in Texas was an incredible growing experience as it lead to meeting a client who opened my life to large property management and construction. It was a small company and not a big corporation so I learned fast.

By being the average of the 5 people you spend most time with, sometimes we need to move ourselves into new environments.

Let those that hurt you go their way, they will remember how you reacted when you interacted with them. You are, in a way always, planting seeds without expectations. Even with those that don’t appreciate your time.

We care for family that hurt us because we feed into the emotions. We have spent time growing up together, share a common bond as family, and are invested in the emotions we shared in the past. So it stings when they say things that you might not agree with. But never take it personal. Learn from it. They could be the ones to say something that most people won’t say to you. Tough love. A recipe to unhappiness is trying to make everyone happy. So being upfront with your vision but misunderstood for long periods of time is a part of the long-term growing process.

The ones that hurt you won’t appreciate your presence until you’re no longer there. 

So care from a distance.

Send a postcard

 

Tekashi 6ix9ine - An Important Message

Social networks offer platforms for us to share everything on the Internet

The energy you emit, is what you’re going to get back.

Tekashi 6ix9ine, is a Brooklyn, New York based rapper that grew to become one of the most followed artists on social media in the last 12 months. His music videos generated over 1 billion views on YouTube. So basically, this guy was getting attention with a specific psychographic and was able to influence (at least subconsciously) millions of people around the world.

He was considered one of the fastest growing artists on social media at the time of arrest. He’s admitted himself that he’s a "Troll Rapper” making deliberately offensive or provocative online posts with the aim of upsetting someone or eliciting an angry response from them.

He is now facing lifetime in prison for racketeering and gun related charges. His trial begins September, 2019. He was denied $1m bail and will likely spend time in jail until the trial begins. It looks like they want to make an example out of him.

I don’t wish bad on anyone, especially jail time, but the important message is whatever you put out is what you’re going to get back.

I remember in my younger high school years, I thought I was invincible from the law. But if the law sees that you have the opportunity to make a change (you gain money or education to change your environment), then the law will expect 100% responsibility for your actions.

By messing with the FBI or law enforcement in general is serious business which costs you your time. Your most valuable asset.

What surprises me is when I see young people posting images of drugs and guns on social media. You’re basically giving the court evidence for a case against you.

I’m not surprised that Tekashi was being followed by the FBI, due to his large social media presence and influence.

The Law of Cause and Effect states that whatever you send into the universe comes back. Action and reaction are equal and opposite.

Every cause has its effect; every effect, its cause. There is no such thing as chance.

The French philosopher Voltaire - François-Marie Arouet - (1694 - 1778) said: 

Words like luck, chance and coincidence were invented to express the known effects of the unknown causes.

By focusing on the Cause the Effect will automatically take care of itself.

Ralph Waldo Emerson called this Law - The Law of Laws.

You get back what you put out.

It is like a boomerang. You throw it out and it comes back.

If you put a negative out, you will get a negative back. Also, when you put a positive out you will get a positive back, maybe not instant, but it will come over time.

I just write to reach at least one person and wanted to share my perspective on this trending topic.

Thanksgiving Travel: Iowa City Foodies?

Enjoying our last day in Iowa. Today we made marshmallow s’mores by the bonfire.

Temps were in the 40s... but thanks to the hosts, Mike and Selina, they got the bonfire going 🔥🔥🔥

Since I wanted to get this post out for the daily post, I’m going to come back to this post and add more photos from my SLR. 

Afterwards we went to Iowa City.

It’s a small university town with a lot of cool foodie restaurants. We had shawarmas and falafels with the family at Oasis Falafel. 

Iowa City is a small town of 80,000 people and home to the Iowa Hawkeyes. It has a lot of mom and pop restaurants. 

I didn’t get anything big for Black Friday shopping but here’s some things I picked up. I’m going to put these patches on a jacket for the cooler California nights. 

Heading back to California 10 am. Ciao!

P.S. Sharing is Caring:

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Grant Cardone shares golden nuggets: 

Are we pimping thanksgiving for profit?

As we enjoy our thanksgiving holiday weekend here in Iowa, we talked about the meaning of Thanksgiving and Black Friday.

Will Black Friday devour the weekend for bottom line sales?

How did Thanksgiving start?

 

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Thanksgiving Story:

In 1621, the Plymouth colonists and Wampanoag Indians shared an autumn harvest feast that is acknowledged today as one of the first Thanksgiving celebrations in the colonies. For more than two centuries, days of thanksgiving were celebrated by individual colonies and states. 

They called the Friday after thanksgiving “Black Friday” from the accidents that would occur due to all of the  traffic during the Thanksgiving holiday weekend.

Just something to think about.  

It was about the unity between two groups of people. The colonialists and the native Americans who lives on US soil for hundreds of years. 

Let’s remember that a meal brought these groups together, just like Thanksgiving dinner today brings us together.